It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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