Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There's always time for handjobs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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