His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
