I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am available for nakedness
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
