"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
