i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
