I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
