I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
