Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
