butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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