This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
