Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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