you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
