I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The air was thick with penises
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
