I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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