NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize