Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
