If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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