i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
