the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
