i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
