I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
