i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize