That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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