its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
