She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
