He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
