i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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