u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have fence marks all over my body
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
