guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize