we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
