This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
