yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize