Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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