I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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