can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
