I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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