I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
