It's Friday. Sex?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You pole danced in your parka.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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