So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
