did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
