I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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