So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
