i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
worst night to have a conscience
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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