well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
