I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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