The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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