I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
