as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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