HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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