You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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