ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize