farters have to be the big spoon...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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