I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
