when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
