pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
