Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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