So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
