The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
