in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it hurts more in the daytime
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
