you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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