i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
