Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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