Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
