better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
