she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
