K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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