So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Randomize
